Reflective Journal #1
Reflective Journal #1
On Wednesday 29th November we met with Dan as a class so he could introduce us to the story unit and what we would be doing. At the end of the session Dan tasked us with going out and observing two random people: One man & One woman, and using their mannerisms, etc.. to create characters and character profiles. At first I was intrigues by this task and thought it would be relatively easy to complete (I'm sure it was for most of the group).
The next day during the afternoon I went out into the city and walked around for a bit, I had started to feel very anxious about the task and the prospect of watching/writing about complete strangers, so I decided to go to a familiar location so I could feel more relax and try to ease my anxiety. I sat down in a corner of the place with my notebook, phone and a cup of tea. However I was unable to observe anyone due to a growing sense of anxiety/dread/panic. Unfortunately a few weeks previously I had one of the worst panic attacks I'd ever experienced so fearing it would happen again I packed up and went home.
To finish that week a few groups from each year 0 pathway went on a trip to London. Going to several different art gallery's/locations.
The next week on Monday/Tuesday I set myself the task of getting the character profiles done. As I had tried and failed to observe people whilst out and about I created my characters using an amalgamation of mannerisms, traits, etc... from myself, my friends and other people I knew.
On the Wednesday we met with Tal for the day and during the first half of the day we presented our profiles to the class along with a description of the people we observed and the places/times we observed them. When it was my turn to present I tried to start but was too uncomfortable to with the class' attention being on me to be able to speak. Tal offered to come back to me in a bit. Later when coming back from a break Tal asked me if I was still OK with trying to present my work to the class. After considering it, I explained about my situation of mental health particularly the anxiety that was acting as a barrier. Tal assured me he wouldn't pressure me to read to the class, but if I felt able to I was welcome to try.
After lunch we watched a film called "Rosetta". The film explored the life of Rosetta as she dealt with loneliness, poverty, caring for a dependant parent (due to alcoholism). During the course of the film she tries to get/keep a job to be able to support herself and mother, and she deals with making a friend and then betraying that friend in order to get their job. At the end of the film she tries to commit suicide (as well as kill her mother) as she feels its the best way to get them out of their situation. This fails and the friend she made/betrayed reappears with the intent of harassing her. Rosetta then breaks down and collapses on the ground in tears (after remaining mostly non-emotional for the majority of the film). The film was very visual and intimately shot, by this I mean the camera mostly followed Rosetta and her actions rather than just watching her from a slight distance. The film is also quite dull in terms of its colour pallet which helps its emotional tone, and the dialogue is short and sparse. I actually found this film quite difficult to watch. After discussing Rosetta as a class the session ended. Before I left I spoke with Tal again and showed him the work that I'd been unable to present to the class.
That Thursday we met Neil and we spent the first part of the session introducing ourselves to Neil/the class, including our experience related to film etc...
Then for the rest of the day we started coming up with/exploring a few ideas for our 3 minute drama piece for the end of the year. At first I struggled to come up with ideas but eventually I settled on the idea of doing a LGBT+ related piece. I settled on a rough idea of a conversation between a child and a parent where the child is trying to come out/help the parent understand about them being transgender. This was both due to the subject being in my mind from conversations a few days previously with friends experiencing similar situations as well as my own experiences with gender non-conformity (I identify as Non-Binary/Genderfluid). (I'll upload my original notes to my script folder)
The next day during the afternoon I went out into the city and walked around for a bit, I had started to feel very anxious about the task and the prospect of watching/writing about complete strangers, so I decided to go to a familiar location so I could feel more relax and try to ease my anxiety. I sat down in a corner of the place with my notebook, phone and a cup of tea. However I was unable to observe anyone due to a growing sense of anxiety/dread/panic. Unfortunately a few weeks previously I had one of the worst panic attacks I'd ever experienced so fearing it would happen again I packed up and went home.
To finish that week a few groups from each year 0 pathway went on a trip to London. Going to several different art gallery's/locations.
The next week on Monday/Tuesday I set myself the task of getting the character profiles done. As I had tried and failed to observe people whilst out and about I created my characters using an amalgamation of mannerisms, traits, etc... from myself, my friends and other people I knew.
On the Wednesday we met with Tal for the day and during the first half of the day we presented our profiles to the class along with a description of the people we observed and the places/times we observed them. When it was my turn to present I tried to start but was too uncomfortable to with the class' attention being on me to be able to speak. Tal offered to come back to me in a bit. Later when coming back from a break Tal asked me if I was still OK with trying to present my work to the class. After considering it, I explained about my situation of mental health particularly the anxiety that was acting as a barrier. Tal assured me he wouldn't pressure me to read to the class, but if I felt able to I was welcome to try.
After lunch we watched a film called "Rosetta". The film explored the life of Rosetta as she dealt with loneliness, poverty, caring for a dependant parent (due to alcoholism). During the course of the film she tries to get/keep a job to be able to support herself and mother, and she deals with making a friend and then betraying that friend in order to get their job. At the end of the film she tries to commit suicide (as well as kill her mother) as she feels its the best way to get them out of their situation. This fails and the friend she made/betrayed reappears with the intent of harassing her. Rosetta then breaks down and collapses on the ground in tears (after remaining mostly non-emotional for the majority of the film). The film was very visual and intimately shot, by this I mean the camera mostly followed Rosetta and her actions rather than just watching her from a slight distance. The film is also quite dull in terms of its colour pallet which helps its emotional tone, and the dialogue is short and sparse. I actually found this film quite difficult to watch. After discussing Rosetta as a class the session ended. Before I left I spoke with Tal again and showed him the work that I'd been unable to present to the class.
That Thursday we met Neil and we spent the first part of the session introducing ourselves to Neil/the class, including our experience related to film etc...
Then for the rest of the day we started coming up with/exploring a few ideas for our 3 minute drama piece for the end of the year. At first I struggled to come up with ideas but eventually I settled on the idea of doing a LGBT+ related piece. I settled on a rough idea of a conversation between a child and a parent where the child is trying to come out/help the parent understand about them being transgender. This was both due to the subject being in my mind from conversations a few days previously with friends experiencing similar situations as well as my own experiences with gender non-conformity (I identify as Non-Binary/Genderfluid). (I'll upload my original notes to my script folder)
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